I don’t think we were knocked out for very long and we all stirred around the same time. I took an inventory and determined that nothing was broken. Martha and Myrtle sat up and looked at each other as if looking in a mirror. Grandma was a little slower to sit up but she otherwise seemed okay.
“What the hell was that?!” Stuart said. His eyes were wide and he was looking around horrified.
“Oh my goodness!” said Grandma, getting to her feet. “Whew, I haven’t been that knocked out since my last orgasm. Your father knew just what to do to…”
“Mom!” the twin aunties cried.
“Oh pish. Don’t act like prudes. I’m sure Louisa and Stuart aren’t embarrassed.”
“Grandma, are you okay?” I asked. I looked around at the blast zone that used to be Grandma’s living room. Everything was thrown back and over and covered in a fine purple dust. The ceiling had a scorch mark above the cauldron where only a small flame still flickered.
Grandma looked in the mirror. “Oh my. My hair’s a mess and I need to wash my face.” Turning toward the group of us she added, “And I promised to make biscuits and gravy for Stuart.” With that she bounced off, humming.
“Stuart, are you okay?”
“I think so. What the hell was that?”
Martha said, “That was a breaking of bonds. Thank you for your help. Myrtle, do you feel it? It’s gone.”
Myrtle’s silent tears cut lines through the purple dust on her face making her look rather macabre. “No, I don’t feel it,” she sobbed. “We’re so alone now. Empty.” She wiped her nose with the back of her hand leaving a lavender snot smear across her cheek. Martha helped her up and took her upstairs.
“Sorry about my weird family, Stuart. I didn’t want you to get dragged into this. My grandmother is a little….umm….er….aaa….she’s a little off I guess.”
“Purple. You know,” he indicated the dusty room.
“Oh crap. I probably look like shit. I haven’t even slept since I worked last night.”
“I think you’re beautiful.” Stuart’s cheeks turned pink under the purple dust making his face an odd magenta color.
The smell of breakfast wafted through the air masking the aroma of what smelled like burnt cloves. Stuart smiled and headed off toward the kitchen. The doorbell rang. Without thinking, I answered the door.
“Oh dear God! What happened? I thought I heard an explosion and I was right!” It was the next door neighbor. “Louisa! You’re purple! Everything is purple!” She stepped into the house and looked around in shock.
Grandma emerged from the kitchen. She was clean and coiffed and fresh as a daisy. “I thought I heard you Sheila. I was just making breakfast for the girls and Louisa’s boyfriend. Would you like to join us?”
Sheila stood dumbfounded. “Mavis, there was an explosion in your living room.”
“Nonsense dear. The girls were just unpacking Christmas decorations and it got a little out of hand.” Mart and Myrt came down the stairs bright and shiny and even Stuart had cleaned up. He wasn’t bad looking at that. “Louisa, go clean yourself up and let’s have breakfast.”
I headed up the stairs as the menagerie started for the kitchen. I heard Grandma say, “Stuart, let me tell you what Louisa’s grandfather used to do that made my eyes roll back….”
I think I’ll climb under the covers and stay there for the rest of my life.