I completed the necessary paperwork, in triplicate, regarding Mr. Simon’s demise. All that needed to be done was the autopsy and final report by the coroner. God knows when he’d get around to it and in the meantime, Mr. Simon was chillin’ in the refrigerator. A little work place humor. The reality was, Mr. Simon had multiple morbidities – cancer, sleep apnea, hypertension – and anyone of them could have been his undoing. The results of the autopsy would undoubtedly show natural causes, so he wasn’t high on the list of examinations to be done.
Still, there was this nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right. Why did we not get the call until 2:15 am? If he was taking a nap before dinner and he was unresponsive when his girlfriend tried to wake him for dinner, then what time do they have dinner? There’s a whole lot of time between, what, 7:30 pm and 2:15 am. Something for the detectives to figure out, I guess. Fortunately for me, Mr. Simon was my only call of the night so I could complete my reports and do a little digging into the phone box and candy corn pills.
My search proved futile at first. Then, I tried searching images of the phone box. There I saw the very same box. Clicking on the image lead to a website called Jānna. The company is based in Nepal and although the website was very slick and professional-looking, it was vague and lacked any substance. The last page on the website was the obligatory “Contact Us” page. I filled out the registration form, not knowing for what, and set about waiting for whatever response I’d get. Out of boredom more so than curiosity, I searched the word Jānna. It is Nepali for “to know” and in Nepali it is written जान्न. I know I’d seen that before but couldn’t put my finger on it.
An image search of the Nepali word lead to a site which sent me into the dark web. It was all impossible and fantastic. The site claimed Jānna was experimenting with a combination of mind control, the occult, and ESP. Their pills were called Kernels of Knowledge and allowed the taker to open their minds to the knowledge of the collective, to read minds, and to be able to communicate to other takers around the world. The phone box represented the connections between thoughts and minds. The Q on the phone was because a cursive capital Q looks like a 2. Jānna, to know, 2 know, 2, Q. Now how did Grandma get hooked up with these people?
To be continued…